Believe it or not, Depression is a real thing. And right now, it's high time we should know about How to Deal with it. It's a mental condition that cultivates over time, not like some viral which you can get rid of by taking some pills for a few days, and also there is no effective medical cure for it.
A person suffering from Depression feels like he/she is alone in this jungle where no one loves or cares about him/her. He/She feels as if the whole world is hell-bent upon working against his/her interests. Getting trouble concentrating on something, irregular sleep patterns at night, feeling guilty or worthless are scientific-proven symptoms to name a few.
And there's no shame in admitting if all of this is happening to you because according to research, every second person on this planet has at least once gone through this situation in his/her lifetime. Gone are the days, when people used to tease the person suffering from depression by saying, “You’ve gone crazy!” or “You are simply mad, there’s nothing like it”.
This whole topic has once again come into limelight after the recent hurtful demise of Bollywood Actor, Sushant Singh Rajput. I won’t go into the whole ‘nepotism oppression leading to a murder’ thing, that is a topic for another article, but sticking with what Mumbai Police has to say, this incident has proved one thing for sure that A thing like depression exists and if it’s not taken care of in due course of time, it can make any person kneel down, no matter how much successful or rich they are.
So, you got to knock this monster down, before it knocks you.
I would love to quote our beloved thought of the day which many of us had recited in our primary school times –
“Health is Wealth”
At that time, it was the first choice of every student, when they were selected to present ‘Thought of the Day’ in the morning prayer session. Not because of the teaching it gives, but because it’s only three words and the chances of being embarrassed for not pronouncing it well enough are very slim (Embarrassing Confession - I too didn’t know about its true meaning at that time).
Without health, you cannot enjoy the wealth. And I would like to add in this that mental health is all the way more important to maintain in this contemporary world than the physical one. Why’s that!? Because, You can go to the gym to maintain your physical health, but there’s no such place to go for getting mental well-being. So today, we will discuss some ways in which you can keep this mental illness at bay –
1) Stop Overthinking.
This is the biggest cause of depression. Please, stop overloading your mind with innumerable questions, especially the ones that are about the things that are beyond your control. You can’t control what the interviewer will ask you, You can’t control whether he/she is going to say “Yes!” to your proposal, you can’t control what someone thinks about you.
Give your best into the things which are in your hand and then let nature take care of the efforts whether you pass or fail. I have seen people constantly stuck in an incessant cycle of the guilt of not having something done in the past. Listen, You can’t change what has already happened, ask yourself what you can do to make something better out of it. What did you learn from that? Embrace it, get hang of your mistakes, and apply the corrected version in the present.
Overthinking about something doesn’t make that happen automatically. It’s only a better way to put your invaluable time in dump plus getting yourself burned out as a bonus. If you’re a fan of Free Headaches, then you won’t be disappointed by this method. And being a loyal subscriber to it may help you win a Brand-New Depression.
Take Actions. Only Actions bring Results. Overthinking invites Depression.
2) Throw the word ‘Expectation’ out of your life.
Yes! You read it correctly. Trust me, if you want to live happily, just throw that word off your dictionary.
Never set expectations from someone or let anyone set expectations out of you.
I know that these are two different statements. Let’s break them down one by one.
Around four months back, I was taking a nice refreshing walk in a park in my neighborhood, when I saw an art-board installed just aside one of its boundaries displaying the “5 golden rules to follow to gain happiness”.
One of them said:
“Give what you can & Expect Nothing in Return”
And it was said by none other than Lord Krishna himself in Bhagavad Gita: -
कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन्। मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते संगोस्त्वकर्मणि।।
Meaning: - Man only has the right to karma, not to worry about its results. Therefore, do not worry about the fruits of actions and do not be distracted from karma.
Before doing any work, we think about its fruits and then while working, we keep thinking about the result. We get happy only if we get the desired result. This increases ego, but if we do not get the results we want, then we become unhappy.
Therefore, keep doing deeds without wishing for anything in return, because only this will give you freedom from the bond of sorrow and happiness.
I would say, Deeds are not some type of ‘investments’ that you expect ROIs from it. Do something which you really feel like doing, not to do favors which you can exploit later. You are the only one who’s going to carry this shitload baggage of unfulfilled expectations, not the other person from who you are expecting something.
So, the choice is yours.
Now coming to the second statement… Let me tell you a story.
See, when a baby comes in this world, he’s like a piece of metal, which is shaped into a tool by our parents & the society (consider them as a blacksmith). So, now two different blacksmiths meet each other and start comparing their tools. Now the truth is that because these tools are made by different blacksmiths, they ought to be different in features and their purpose.
So, the first blacksmith lost the “non-sense, unnecessary & pointless” argument of collating the tools made for different purposes and forged in different conditions. Then what!? He began the futile effort of reforging his tool to match the features of the other one.
Did the story make any sense?
The answer does not matter. Because this is happening in real life. What are we trying to do our whole life?
We are busy :
Fulfilling what our parents expect out of us.
Acting according to what our society expects from us.
Then we have to meet our teachers’ anticipations.
Then the relatives appear in the picture with their “miles-apart” presumptions of career choices we should opt-in.
And now what!? You have been made prepared to be doomed with depression because you just can’t satisfy each and every expectation and then you are made to feel that you’re not good enough as this & that person who did something that we are not even directed to do.
Dwayne Johnson cannot play tennis, so does that make Roger Federer any better than him in terms of, say, anything whether it be success, fame, money, or happiness. Who knows if Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Larry Ellison, etc would be in top 10 Billionaires list if they hadn’t dropped out of their universities and completed their degrees, only because some other person expected them to do so? We need to understand the individuality of one’s thoughts and interests. We can’t generalize every other human being.
Now, don’t straight away drop out of your college seeing the word ‘billionaire’. Instead, set aims for yourself including time limits & most importantly remember that “The only right you have is to do karma, not caring about the results”.
3) Live a Life full of Simplicity
As soon as you start focusing on the things you need rather than the things you want, you start living a simple life. There’s no end to what a person wants. It’s like a black hole, if you step into it, you’ll keep falling into it endlessly. Now the truth is, You can’t always get what you want and that leads straight to disappointment. Now I am sure you can calculate your probability of getting disappointed, if your ‘wants’ tend to infinity (OK, Sorry! Don’t close the tab, I am not trying to teach mathematics here).
Now, don’t confuse my words with being unambitious. Let me explain it to you with a great example of one & only “History-Maker in progress”, Elon Musk. He is a multi-billionaire, was ambitious about space since his childhood, built a company SpaceX, made possible the recovering and reusing the rocket boosters, starting a new era in Space exploration (which existed only in fictional comics and wasn’t even considered doable by the NASA at that time). This man hardly gets noticed wearing any other outfit than his plain black t-shirt. When he goes to keep a check on his several ventures (Tesla, SpaceX, SolarCity, The Boring Company to name a few) at different locations in the USA, he stays at his friend’s house and sleeps on a couch. Recently, he declared through his twitter handle to own no house.
And it’s not like that with Elon Musk only, you can see mostly every tycoon living the simplest possible life. Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Lawrence, Mark Zuckerberg, You Name It!
They don’t care or have the time to wonder about how they look, what dress should they don, what hairstyle will suit them, etc. One who gets entangled in all these thoughts cannot have the desired satisfaction throughout his/her life, because you are living your whole life to impress others, the truth being you cannot due to everyone being different and having a different way of life.
Focus on needs. It will help you to declutter your brain, making space for what really matters. So, from next time, the first question that should come to your mind should be, “Do I really need this?”
Minimalization is not about having less. It’s about making room for more of what’s really necessary.
4) Avoid Social Media as much as you can
I don’t really understand who named Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat as Social Media… They should be known as “Show-Off Media”.
As far as I have seen, Socializing is the last thing we use them for. Everyone’s busy posting ‘happy & full of life than ever” pictures of themselves, the irony being that they are the only ones who would be whining about the lower amount of “likes” or “upvotes” they received on their posts. Are we living a life so small that we meter our happiness with such things? Sorry, but if you fetch your happiness out of those random likes, then you are doomed to be unhappy sooner or later.
Instead of scrolling through the fake profiles on your “Show-Off Media” feed, scroll through your capabilities, scroll through the things doing what really makes you happy. Rather than caring about those strangers liking your post, look around yourself, there’s no one who as happy seeing you as your own family. They are the ones you should really care about. Ramm this into the back of your brain – “You’re not here on this earth to impress everyone.”
So, let’s put a cheerful end to this article by remembering a few lines (which were going to be included as the 5th point, but then no one will even open this 2000 words long boring philosophical crap :P)
Never let anyone’s judgment affect you. They don’t know what you’re going through, what’s your potential, how your mindset works etc. and it applies vice versa. You don’t know anything about them either. Having doubts about your own capabilities give origin to the worst kind of depression because no one can help you recover if even you don’t believe in yourself.
There’s this one power that outshines all the others that exist in this universe i.e. Have Faith in Yourself. If you have that, in my opinion, you can conquer anything you want. Success is that one answer that silences all kinds of questions.
Try implementing these points in your day-to-day life and watch those depression levels sink down the ocean.
Till next time…
Take Care. Stay Safe.
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